Ageing is a much-feared word for most people in the prime of their lives. Grey hairs, wrinkles, difficulty reading small print, or getting breathless while climbing stairs may be the first indicators. Many women fear the changes, especially on their faces. Men want to behave manly and do not acknowledge limitations in their physical energy.
Some people accept ageing gracefully. However, there may be many challenges that crop up as we age. Challenges are not just physical changes but also mental and social. How to face these issues positively needs knowledge and certain behavioural changes. These changes need to be adopted at appropriate periods of life.
When Do We Start Ageing?
Physical Ageing. Our bones and muscles start getting weak (atrophy) in our early 30s. The ability of damaged cells to repair themselves decreases due to changes in metabolic pathways. Difficulty in reading small print starts in the mid 30s. Other changes begin in the 4th decade, which accelerate in the 5th decade.
Mental Ageing. Brain functions peak around the 3rd decade. Thereafter, the brain volume decreases, but the knowledge and experiences (crystallised intelligence) make the person wiser. This intelligence peaks in the 6th and 7th decades. However, it depends on how often it is put into practice.
Challenges for Women
Women, in general, live longer than men all over the world. In India, women outlive men by 2-4 years. However, there is a catch – women spend at least 3 more years in poor health than men. The common diseases they are affected by are arthritis, depression and other autoimmune diseases. Lifestyle diseases are catching up fast in the present times.
Another, more complex issue is caring. Apart from looking after the household, women are expected to provide physical and emotional care not only to their children but also to the aged parents-in-law in joint families. In their job of caring, there are no holidays. This becomes too taxing on their body and mind. Hence, more diseases. Lastly, living longer after a husband’s death, as a dependent, some feel loss of respect or outright hostility from their daughters-in-law and other family members.
These complex social problems have been under the radar of the government as well as the courts. Old age pension for widows, free travel in buses, helplines and women-managed police stations are available. But the larger issues are attitudinal changes in families.
Major Challenges of Ageing and How to Face Them
There is no need to get horrified by seeing the signs of ageing. Infact all parents dream that their children live a long life. For themselves, they dream of ‘seeing their grandchildren getting married’. If that is so, then why be afraid of ageing? Let us view the challenges which can put fear in our minds. These are discussed in the order of increasing age:
1. Change in Appearance
The mirror appears to tell us about our wrinkles, sparse hairs and sagging skin. The small print on the labels of bottles or packages is illegible. Belly size may increase. These changes affect our self-esteem. We start comparing our bodies with those of our contemporaries.
How to face it? Well, first, we should acknowledge that it is normal and that we appear graceful. Secondly, we are likely to be treated with respect as we appear mature. However, drink more fluids to maintain skin tone. Wear hats and apply sunscreen if going out in bright sun. Eat a balanced diet and avoid ultra-processed foods (UPF). If hair falls rapidly in men, think of hair transplant if necessary.
2. Health Concerns
These include loss of physical agility, low energy levels and door-knocking by lifestyle diseases (diabetes, hypertension, cardiovascular disorders, and cancers). This triad of events put fear in the minds of navigating our boat (body) successfully in old age. Weight gain is the knock on the door of lifestyle diseases. These diseases can cause loss of job, extra expenses on medical investigations and treatment, as well as being confined to chairs/ sofas or beds. As we grow older, inactivity and less physical activity cause muscle weakness/sarcopenia as well as osteoporosis.
How to face them? Those in their early 30s need to make themselves aware of these changes and impending diseases. Increasing physical activities and reducing inactivity and mental stress to the bare minimum is the key. Earning more or gaining more power in office doesn’t mean that it is now the time to relax. Secondly, Expensive food and snacks are not necessarily healthy. Thirdly, an hour at the gym doesn’t give us the license to remain inactive for the rest of the day. Lastly, hard work doesn’t equate with taking excessive mental stress at the workplace. Apart from these, one needs to get the periodic medical examination as advised by the family/trusted physician.
3. Loss of Identity
Most of us keep becoming senior at our workplace, and our titles keep changing for the better. Even the housewife’s status changes with the income and status of her husband. Retirement and loss of a job are the second most adverse life events in adults after the death of a spouse. A sense of self may be felt due to the tag of fused bulb, especially in those who have been working hard for many years. Luckily, the self-employed do not face such challenges.
How to deal with it? A plan of action is possible for those whose date of retirement is fixed. They can pursue a second career, do social work (but have a definite plan of action with fixed days/ times), or chase a hobby which remained neglected during working years. Even I took to long-distance running at age 59 and serious writing at the age of 68. Many of my close friends became principals of medical colleges or even vice-chancellors of a university in their 2nd or 3rd career stint. Some of my doctor classmates started businesses in their 60s and are still earning well in their mid 70s.
4. Loss of Routine
Almost every person has a daily routine. However, those who have retired recently or have lost their job are in a sort of vacuum as far as time management is concerned. Having finished breakfast and other minor chores, the person may feel lost in their own home and wonder, “Now what?”
How to respond? There are many ways to spend time even if one doesn’t want to take up a second or third job. Making a new routine is good. Keep hours for helping at home, learning or continuing with a hobby, socialising with friends and relatives and taking part in group activities outside the home.
5. Loss of a Loved One
This is an important set back at any age of life. For a child it is the parents. However, for those who have had a loving partner for many years, his/ her death leaves the biggest void in life. Loss of loving kin or close friends, especially those younger than self also affects adversely. This grief is emotional taxing and affects not only the mental health but also the physical health. Rapid aging ensues if care is not taken at an early stage. Yet adjustment may take a longer time if a person living together has passed away.
What can be done? The Bhagwad Geeta teaches a philosophy of ‘Detached Attachment”. The only constants for human beings are birth and death. Death is a certainty, why not embrace the fact. One needs to concentrate on ‘here and now’ concept to learn to live without the loved one. After the intense period of sorrow, one needs to bounce back in life. Of course there are numerous official chores to be attend to. Property, insurance, disposal of vehicles and many more. Take support of relatives or friends. after that, one can find solace in religion, spiritualism or a hobby. Do not discard the social circle.
6. Loneliness and Social isolation.
Please read my recent post on this subject by clicking here.
7. Quantity and Quality of Sleep
Old age brings on sleep disorders. In many people who stop working, daytime lethargy and longer naps in daytime are observed. Obviously, they find difficulty in falling sleep. Sleep may be light with more visits to the washroom.
What can be done? Finding the cause is important. Is it due to some medicine or due to an illness? Is the person sufficiently active? How long are daytime naps? If answers are not found by self, one should consider consulting a doctor.
8. Declining Memory and the Fear of Dementia
Even though memory decline begins silently as early as a person is in their 20s or 30s, noticeable decline occurs in 50s or 60s. Use it or lose it is the appropriate term used for impairment in memory as well as cognition after the 60s. Processing of thoughts, choosing the right words and expressing them without much delay gets affected too. Dementia may set in a few persons, especially those whose parents had this disease.
Sharpen memory, remain intelligent for longer life. Take care of the brain all throughout the life but especially so after retirement/ loss of job. Keep your mind sharp by indulging in memory improving games easily available online while sitting alone. Those who have partners can play chess, cards or other board games. Reading is another good way, but writing is better. One can write a daily personal journal too. Learning new skills, languages, hobbies or games is another way. The best is staying up-to-date with new technology, especially digital. One can remain in touch with social groups, make payments, improve finances and read – do almost everything, online.
9. Nonrealisation of Dreams. Dreams of winning a beauty contest, climbing the Mount Everest or having a world trip in First class by air may never be met. Some, smaller dreams may go unrealized due to various circumstances in life. Some people regret and make mountains out of mole hills. Such issues vitiate home environment.
How to resolve the issue of unattained dreams? Well, firstly, do not lose hope. New doors open up even in the senior years of life. One who missed out on beauty contests can a become a face of kindness by helping the poor or downtrodden. Social media has thrown up various possibilities of beautiful faces in the seniors. Many seniors have trained themselves and have gone to the Everest base camp or bicycled on the Manali-Leh road right upto Khardungla pass at 17000 feet. In online or television contests, many seniors have got fame and enough money to go around the world.
Conclusion
There are people and organisations which discriminate against aging person. It may be subtle – you are too old to drive a car. It may be clear in workplace – like choosing a junior for a job even though he/ she is lesser qualified for it (workplace exclusion). Newer technology is another aspect – it hurts the senior when someone says, “Oh, leave him alone, too old to learn”. This sort of discrimination is hurtful. The society has, in general been following patterns or stereotypes of elderly as physically weak and with loss of memory and cognition. Discrimination can also occur in families, especially if a parent is alone and without a good bank balance/ pension. Seniors can jointly oppose ageism by proving them wrong by their actions as well as help from law.
Blessed are the elderly who have been chosen to live longer. To share their wisdom with others but especially with grandchildren or even great grandchildren. In India, the elderly are traditionally given due respect. However, in some family settings, some may have to learn to ignore with a smile any adverse remarks against them. We cannot change our genes but we can alter our behavior, diet and habits.
Title Image Courtesy: https://www.dreamstime.com/
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by the author do not necessarily reflect the views of the Government of India and the Defence Research and Studies. This opinion is written for strategic debate. It is intended to provoke critical thinking, not louder voices.
